With each passing year I find myself transfixed…calm and completely taken by the feeling of Fall’s footsteps drawing near –
and closer still.
With the sun’s rays heavy – honeyed and sleepily starting to fade – there within lives this tiny, little moment. Right in between the warm, golden slumber and the cool, crisp breath of dusk – it hides. Gently begging for momentary retrospection and stillness. It happens in an instant –
a blink –
and then it’s gone.
If you’re lucky enough to catch it, a spark surges through you like electricity. You become full. Alive and buzzing with anticipation. Eager for the promise of new possibility, of new hope.
I am convinced that we live for this moment.
For me, this moment is the thrill of a starting anew. Coming back with renewed vitality and restored contentment.
I can remember at fourteen sprawling across my twin bed – just next to my bedroom window. I’d swoon over the boys of Summer’s past, Fiona Apple’s smooth, sullen vocals trailing softly in the background. My face often deep in the folds of a Parisian Vogue (of course at sixteen I’d splurge, spending $10 on a European issue), a Teen Magazine, or a Harper’s Bazaar – I’d sit – eyes relentlessly researching trends for back-to-school shopping trips to come.
I loved trying on new clothes, new looks, new hairstyles – each was the opportunity to try on a new facet of myself. The chance to add another layer to my deepening character, my growing persona. New classes and new schools held the promise of life-long friends, innocent crushes and the excitement of the wide, wondrous unknown.
These days, the thrill of back-to-school ensembles and boys has shifted to the likes of decorative dinner parties and the calm assurance of a cozy, family-filled evening. My hair is a only shade under its natural color and Martha Stewart Living and Real Simple have since replaced the Teen Magazine at my bedside.
Though these tender, girlish flights of fancy may be long gone, one thing is for sure; the eagerness to redefine, to experience life – the pure excitement of the unknown – this never really goes away. It’s waiting there, within that blink.
And when I feel the breath of Autumn’s cool breeze brush across my shoulders, I turn and smile, because I know that in this moment new life awaits. In this moment I am forever thankful for each moment that has come before, and I am suspended in awe of this place that we call home.